Greg Fleming Really Working His Ass Off To Come Up With Something Nice To Say About Merrill Lynch

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Apparently moved by the inspirational words in his latest read, Chicken Soup For The Divorcée's Soul, Greg Fleming sent out a heal thyself missive to all employees today entitled "A new chapter at Merrill Lynch," after being convinced that some people might be weirded out by "Starting Over, Yet Again."
In it, Fleming, who, according to CNBC's Charlie Gasparino, everyone at Merrill hates, said: "While the markets continue to be volatile, and challenges remain ahead, and I have cried myself to sleep every night for what feels like a lifetime and for what? That two-timing asshole?, I have tremendous confidence in our long-term prospects...Our core businesses continue to perform well...[and] our strategy is fundamentally sound." Ooo, but then he felt the need to go and back up the bull shit with evidence, and not having the decency to make something up, decided to work with the facts at hand. Big mistake. What'd the Flemster go with? A correction from the Wall Street Journal about an article that said Merrill was taking its accounting cues from Enron. A correction. That was the big pump-up part of his speech. A correction.
"The Wall Street Journal simply should never have written the story that it did, which is why it agreed to issue a rare correction of a page-one story," Fleming wrote. "The control groups worked just as they are supposed to work here, and the Journal got it wrong when it suggested that Merrill Lynch had engaged in any improper transactions." Apparently no one from Bloomberg had gotten back to Greg about whether or not they have plans to issue a correction to the story that reported Merrill would be writing down $8.1 billion (and counting), which he thinks (and said as much in the voicemails he left), "Bloomberg simply should never have written." God-willing, he'll have gotten some sort of a response in time for Chapter Two.
Merrill tells employees its strategy is sound [Reuters]

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