Help Us Declare A Victor

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It’s always sad when couples end things (and you have to pretend to care), but once the appropriate amount of time has past (usually two hours), we must ask the question: who came out on top? Who’s the winner of this breakup? Who deserves my admiration and who deserves my disgust?
If the rumors are true that they were ever even a pair, it’s been over ten months since Maria Bartiromo and Todd Thomson called it quits. Today the Times, under the guise of just being topical and not being US Weekly, casts its vote for Maria, declaring that the CNBC reporter is “is having a great year.” Not just good, GREAT. (Actually, they were going to go with “fanfuckingtastic” but, you know, propriety or some shit like that.) We’re not saying we don’t agree that the $H’s having a banner 365 days, but the story came off as completely one-sided, because these things are all relative, and the only way you’re having a good time is if your ex is having a bad one. We thought the Times knew this, and yet, the story made no mention of what Big T’s been up to. So we will, and only after we’ve seen both sides will we draw a conclusion.
Job Status

Got one, though it hangs in the balance, thanks to competition from “Street Sweetie” Erin Burnett and good times girl Trish Regan

Unemployed


Does s/he have the support of her/his (former) employer?
Yes, things are going swimmingly with the CNBC brass.

Allegedly they’d stopped talking after Prince unceremoniously fired Thomson, but perhaps what was lost will be found again, while waiting online at the unemployment office.
Has her/his life been taken up a notch in terms of busy-ness?
Yes-- “My life has been taken up a notch in terms of busy-ness.”

No, he “literally, without exaggeration has nothing to do.”
Has s/he felt empowered enough to take risks with bold new hair styles on a regular basis?
Yes.

No, still has $12 ‘do.
Cartoons
“...plans to use that [Money Honey] nickname for a cartoon character called “Money Honey,” who will appear in a series of animated short pieces aimed at teaching children some basics about money.”

Watches them, all day.
Proximity to Angelo Mozilo
Scored an exclusive interview with him.

Frequents the same Mystic Tan salon.
On a daily basis, what are the odds that s/he will be involved in a catfight?
10-1

20-1, because a new hobby since losing his job is apparently the aggressive and daily pursuit of cats with which to rumble (it almost doesn’t sound believable but he is said to be carving out a niche for himself as the Michael Vick of the feline world).
As Citigroup Chief Totters, CNBC Reporter Is Having a Great Year [NYT]

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