Lloyd Blankfein Will Not Be The First To Crack

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Goldman Sachs is sticking to the story that it cooked up (by which I do not mean to imply that they’re lying) about not having any subprime-related writedowns on the horizon. The consistency of the statements coming out of 85 Broad almost makes it seem as though those guys are telling the truth about being better than everyone else by leaps and bounds (which is, admittedly, not necessarily a feat to write home about). You could say we’re easily swayed by the power of suggestion (or just not that great at valuing Level 3 assets*), but we’re starting to believe what we’re being told, over and over and over. You could also say we just don’t ever want to see that face (at left) again (because it reminds us too much of childhood). Seriously, though look how mad he is at you punks, who won’t stop asking him to fess up to a crime Goldman maybe never committed.
Regardless of the lies or not lies, no one has touched the biggest issue, which is the fact that Llloyd claims GS is maintaining its short position on subprime just one day after Stephen Schwarzman said Blackstone is “going long” on those mortgages. This is just like that time Jesus and Judas found themselves pitted against one another, except with much higher stakes. We’re not just talking about thirty pieces of silver anymore.
Goldman: No More Write-Downs [AP via Forbes]
Goldman Doesn't Plan Significant Mortgage Writedown [Bloomberg]
*which is just us being humble, you know we could nail this stuff with our eyes tied behind our back.

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Lloyd Blankfein Finally Gets To Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball

Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]