"Sub-Prime Portfolio Group" Is Sub-Optimal


By now you know that Citigroup has appointed Rick Stuckey to lead a “dedicated team” to figure out “where we messed up in subprime” and “how we can fix it,” called the Sub-Prime Portfolio Group. The (one, only, single) problem is that that name sucks. Focus group results have found it to be “lame,” and Matt Tsesearksy, who’s been asked to help out in the risk management strategy of the Group, is said to have sat in the corner and sulked after being told that his suggestion—some variation on “the claw”—would not be incorporated. And if I was, and I’m not saying I am but if I were, on this team, I don’t think I’d necessarily be that inclined to do anything about these assets that’ve fucked so much up for Citiville. It’s not inspiring and I probably wouldn’t have a problem looking at it and saying, “You know what, I’m not really in the mood.” No fear of retribution there because it demands no respect. But I also don’t have any alternatives. I think you might. Let’s hear them. Citigroup has said the best one will be considered, so don’t half-ass it.
Citi’s New Subprime Manager: The Internal Memo [DealBook]