Talkin' Bonuses: "Everyone wants to shoot a lion," but not everyone can afford to shoot a lion, now can they?

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Oh noes! South African breeding operations like Leigh Fletcher’s, which provide hundreds of lions each year for hunters like you and me to stalk and kill in an enclosed area for sport, are being shafted by both animal rights groups and the government, the god damn government. This matters because, in turn, you and I—people who love to slay giant cats that don’t have a fighting chance—are being shafted. Starting Feb. 1, a new law will require that lions roam free for TWO YEARS before they are hunted, so they can "adapt to the wild before they are killed, allowing for a fair chase," a new rule that kowtows to pressure from animal lovers who, so far as we can see, have a problem with canned hunting. Prices are going to skyrocket and some analysts are predicting that in a few short months, it may cost more than $35,000 for one measly catch. This means that I’ll only get to shoot one lion per year, and based on 2006’s bonus numbers, Goldman Sachs employees, on average, will be able to afford to kill less than eighteen. Unless of course they decide to pool their money and buy Bear Stearns, in which case that number falls to zero. Or skyrockets to 15,516, depending on how flexible you are about what kind of animal you want to hunt in a small enclosure with no chance of escape.
Hunting Lions Bred in Captivity May Soon Cost More Than $35,000 [Bloomberg]

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