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UBS Covers Its Bases, Sends Message That It Will Announce $7.9999999 Billion Writedown

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UBS denied rumors that it will make a fourth-quarter writedown of $8 billion by saying today, "UBS does not expect writedown numbers like those implied in its outlook which means writedown numbers like $8 billion are not expected. [This also means that anything in the range of 7 billion and change, a number not like 8 billion because it's 7, is fair game]." Another possible scenario, according JP Morgan, is a $8 billion writedown broken into bite-sized pieces spread out over several quarters, which several students at Harvard have already told us they find "totally unacceptable" and maybe grounds for a Crimson editorial.
UBS CFO says not to expect massive Q4 writedown [Reuters]
Subprime Hits Seem Likely To Keep Coming [WSJ]
UBS May Write Down $1.8 Billion This Quarter, JPMorgan Says [Bloomberg]