WestLB Will Post Losses Because Markets Are Hard


WestLB said this afternoon that it will report a full-year loss of over $145 million (100 million+ euros) because “of persistently difficult market developments.'' Up until today, the Dusseldorf-based bank had been forecasting a profit. Profit, no profit—they’re pretty much the same thing, so it’s easy to see how one might confuse one for the other. A possible sale is still being considered, including a takeover by Landesbank Baden-Wuerttemberg. We don’t really care either way, we just want someone to finally go on record with the fact that the company once employed a gay analyst named Dumbledore, who was the inspiration for the Harry Potter character (and can’t wait for ousted Chief Executive Officer Thomas Fischer’s tell-all to do it). Also on our wish list is for someone within WLB to arrange for the German lender to accidentally amass a 14 percent stake in DaimlerChyrsler again. And for David Hasselhoff to perform at the next company picnic. Dear god you have no idea how badly we want that.
WestLB Expects Loss of More Than EU100 Million in '07 [Bloomberg]
Germans Love David Hasselhoff [TDR]



HelloFresh Will Go Public Because You Are All Diseased

Why not just literally eat literal money at this point?