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Who's Running Pirate Capital (Into The Ground)? If You're Not A Michael Bolton Fan, The Answer May Surprise You

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In September 2006, Pirate Capital was managing $1.802 billion. Today? Less than $400 million. September 2006? Interns were given the special assignment to go down the road to buy minnows for bigger fish to devour to the leering delight of a staff busy not executing profitable trades. Today? Tom Hudson is forced to make his own trips to PetSmart. You could blame the changes in AUM and aquatic life responsibilities on simply a run of bad luck, or recent market turbulence, but the story we’re hearing (from, yes, a maybe unreliable source) sounds slightly more plausible, if you know how Tom Hudson feels about soft rock ballads.
Apparently Isa Bolotin isn’t the only offspring of Michael Bolton neé Bolotin working at Pirate (in the increasingly irrelevant role of director of investor relations). Bolton’s other daughter, Holly, is currently on payroll as personal assistant to Hudson, which, according to some people, carries the responsibility of making decisions regarding workforce cutbacks. Supposedly, the Pirate staff, which is now down to five, let go of three employees this week (without severance, natch) because Holly told big T to get rid of them, on suspicion that (and this is almost better than the Michael Bolton connection) they posted incriminating comments about her on a Wall Street tabloid. (To her credit, Holly only thought it was one of them, but all three were terminated to be sure all bases were covered.) If you believe that, then you’ll also believe the broader allegation from our source that Hudson “blindly does whatever the Bolotin girls tell him to do, and will be able to blame them when he’s forced to shutter the fund.” Pirate Capital would not confirm or deny any part of the story, because they would not permit us to ask any questions. Their phones are apparently programmed to hang up, after a hand is placed over the receiver and whispers are exchanged, when the word “dealbreaker” is mentioned. Twice.
Earlier: What The Seed Of Michael Bolton Hath (Possibly) Wrought