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Bonus Watch: Bear Stearns Bonus Wipe Out Hangover

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Yesterday the lads and lasses at Bear Stearns got their bonus numbers, which means that last night was ridiculous. It’s almost always this way around bonus time, with young bankers drinking themselves stupid either the celebrate a great year or mourn the final, appalling truth about their compensation numbers.
One young Bear-ette who last night found herself drunkenly eating a cheeseburger as she struggled to come to terms with the fact that her hourly wage probably worked out to just about what the guy serving the burger made.
“I haven’t eaten a cheeseburger in three years,” said the toned would-be femme version of a master of the universe. (Mistress of the universe has too many unintended implications.)
Look people. We know it’s tempting to self-medicate with food, but the answer is not in the extra calories. And the only thing worse than being poor is being fat and poor.