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Goldman Sachs: If You're Looking For An Infinite Number Of Second Chances To Lose Billions Of Dollars, You've Come To The Right Place

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In spite of atrocious performances from Global Alpha and GEO, which perhaps might be indicators of Goldman's inability to do anything but suck ass when it comes to hedge funds, the firm's latest HF venture is starting out with a record-setting $10 billion, of which it is expected to lose at least 40 percent, taking redemptions and unforseen weather patterns into account, by the end of '08. According to Bloomberg, GSIP, run by Raanan Agus and Kenneth Eberts, is (wisely) treading on the Goldman name and standard of excellence, as if to say, "Hey look, we're not so bad," past performances of existing hedge funds presumably not being taken into account, though you never know (could be good for demonstrating that GS is human and capable of failure. So, so, so much failure.) The best part is that GSIP has actually calculated-- calculated-- that if the current fund, in an imaginary world where time travel existed, had been around since the beginning of '04, it would have returned 18 percent each year through August 2007, beating the S&P 500's 10 percent average. Keep in mind this is all just hearsay and speculation, and that it's entirely possible that the same fund, had it existed since the beginning of '04, could have just as easily returned 79 percent each of those years.
Anyway. I think we all know what time it is:

Goldman May Break Record for a New Hedge Fund With $10 Billion [Bloomberg]