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More Holiday Parties You're Not Invited To But Are Encouraged To Attend: Lehman, Goldman, Carlyle, Citi, Etc.

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Lehman Brothers: Tonight, 7 pm, Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers. Our tipster seems to think this means “there won’t be any writedown that the Street keeps talking about coz [sic] the bonuses will be announced before the party and I’d be pretty dumbstruck if those will be cut today—they had plenty of time to announce and prepare us for the worst!”
Goldman Sachs (derivatives): Tonight, 6 pm, the Volstead
Carlyle: Tonight, 7 pm, Central Park Boathouse. Would’ve been infinitely cooler if it were the Boat Basin but whatevs, live and let live.
Citi (FIG): December 13, 6 pm, 583 Park Ave. Fun fact: this sometime party venue is a Christian Science church, which rents itself out for special events. The Scientists get a percentage of the revenue from each party, and still worship there during the week. “Christian Science” is inscribed in huge letters on the outside, and creeps us out every time we walk past it on the way home. We’ll be going, if only because Hank Paulson is rumored to be DJ’ing the event, and it's been a while since we saw someone palm a basketball.
• Some firm called MJX Capital Advisors: December 14, 6 pm, Plataforma. There will apparently only be 7 people there but go anyway, hilarity will ensue.