Short Goldman Sachs


There's a very important story in today's Wall Street Journal. You can tell it's important by how long and boring it is. So long and boring that you might've a. only read the first paragraph b. just skimmed it for key words and phrases or c. said "No! I'm god damn sick and tired of these motherfucking "How Goldman Sachs won when EVERYONE ELSE LOST" articles! I can't do it! I won't do it!" and not read a single word, choosing instead to settle for a nice relaxing spliff, though, realistically, that reaction probably could've only come from one person, and is sort of beside the point, because he no longer allows copies of the Journal within 1,000 feet of him anyway. Normally we don't pass judgment on your chosen paths/reading material (or lackthereof), but these are extenuating circumstances, and we would be remiss not to tell you that those choosing a, b, or c this morning made terrible, horrible mistakes. Because buried way down the page, after the part about Goldman's "penchant for rolling the dice with its own money," the "home run blasted from...the structured-products trading group's Scotty Pippin and MJ AKA Michael Swenson and Josh Birnbaum," ABX, VaR, jumping rope and lifting weights, broken promises to a wife and two children, and an obligatory Nick Leeson shout-out, contains a deep dark secret. A secret that's sure to make the day for many of you who like to see nothing more than Snarf and his friends fail, because it more or less gives confirmation that in 2008, the team that made GS a large pile of money, is going to shit the bed.

In October, Goldman's mortgage unit moved from one downtown Manhattan office building to another. Despite their stellar year, traders were crowded into a low-ceiling floor where 150 employees shared one small men's room.

How Goldman Won Big On Mortgage Meltdown [WSJ]


Goldman Sachs Can Fix This

A week ago today, a man named Greg Smith resigned from Goldman Sachs. As a sort of exit interview, Smith explained his reasons for departing the firm in a New York Times Op-Ed entitled "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." The equity derivatives VP wrote that Goldman had "veered so far from the place I joined right out of college that I can no longer in good conscience say I identify with what it stands for." Smith went on to note that whereas the Goldman of today is "just about making money," the Goldman he knew as a young pup "revolved around teamwork, integrity, a spirit of humility, and always doing right by our clients." It was a culture that made him "love working for the firm" and its absence had stripped him of "pride and belief" he once held in the place. While claiming that Goldman Sachs has become virtually unrecognizable from the institution founded by Marcus (Goldman) and Samuel (Sachs), which put clients ahead of its own interests, is hardly a new argument, there was something about Smith's words that gave readers a moment's pause. He was so deeply distraught over the differences between the Goldman of 2012 and the Goldman of 2000 (when he was hired) that suggested...more. That he'd seen things. Things that had made an imprint on his soul. Things that he couldn't forget. Things that he held up in his heart for how Goldman should be and things that made it all the more difficult to ignore when it failed to live up to that ideal. Things like this: