Charlie Gasparino: “No one is immune to layoffs…besides Goldman Sachs.”

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And you know what? I don’t think buddy boy’s drunk or making shit up this time. According to Gasparino, Merrill will start firing employees tomorrow, with the credit and bond departments most at risk. And they may also announce a $10 billion writedown. And the triumphant return of Stan O’Neal. And “Dinosaurs,” in syndication. As that's the most important piece of information in this post, you can expect that I will elaborate on that later.
Earlier: Please Say Charlie Gasparino Is Drunk And Making Shit Up, Please Say Charlie Gasparino Is Drunk And Making Shit Up

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Cigars 'n' Such: The Secrets To Charlie Gasparino's Success

Some people are such founts of generosity that on their birthday, they think not of themselves and what they will receive, but rather of how they can brighten the days of others. Charles Gasparino is one such selfless, gallant human being. On this special day, January 28th, the 50th anniversary of his entrance into the world, Mr. Gasparino has chosen to present us with a priceless gift: the secrets of his success. Print them out, mark them up, use them to advance your own cause, or simply give thanks to the god of journalism for his magnanimous spirit.