"She needs cold and flu medicine, YESTERDAY"


I have always been amused at the amazingly dense attempts by FedEx competitors to emulate the pure genius that is the essence of modern speed and efficiency. Or, it could just be that I love the old Federal Express commercials.
So, the news that DHL is planning to put a bunch of locations in Walgreens around the country, well, it just makes me laugh. Kind of loudly. Try it yourself by acting out these parts:
Somewhere in Memphis:
FedEx Executive: "So, where might you be where you suddenly need to ship a document with all speed and haste to a critical location?"
FedEx Junior Executive: "The financial printers?"
FedEx Junior Executive 2: "Your accountant's office?"
FedEx Junior Executive 3: "Your divorce attorney's office?"
FedEx Junior Executive 4: "Kinkos?"
FedEx Executive (suddenly to Junior Executive 4): "My god, that's BRILLIANT man!"
Somewhere in Bonn, Germany:
DHL Executive: "Zo, vere might vone be wann zuddenly to ship dokuments schnell need?"
DHL Junior Executive: "Zee dry kleeners?"
DHL Junior Executive 2: "Zee Bahnhof?"
FedEx Junior Executive 3: "Zee Post?"
FedEx Junior Executive 4: "Zee Apotheke?"
All in unison (suddenly to Junior Executive 4): "Ja- KLAR!"
DHL to Offer Kiosks at Walgreens In Major Expansion for Shipper [WSJ]