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The Most Important Hedge Fund Story Of All Time

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Like you, we can't get enough of the Seth Tobias murder case. It's so twisted, so kinky, so against God's plan- or Richard Dawkins's plan for that matter. Plus, it fills the hugely gaping "grown hedge fund managers who supposedly can't swim" void, left open since someone told John Devaney that a person engaging in as much watersports as he should really know how to paddle.
Making up for the fact that the latest information is-relatively-boring (on Friday attorneys for Tobias's brothers filed a new motion to bar T's window, Filomena, from seeing a dime of the dead guy's $25 million estate) is CNBC anchor Joe Kernen's enthusiasm. (As if in the hedge fund world $25 million is even worth fighting over). At the idea that this case still hasn't been solved yet, he screams at correspondent Scott Cohn, "Anything raising an eyebrow yet?" with palpable sarcasm. "Nothing suspicious at all about this case?!" he presses further. "Clouseau?" "Columbo?" "Go Go motherfucking Gadget???"
Someone, dig up something. If not for us, then for Joe Kernen, who's going to throw his back out by closing bell if you don't get some answers. In the meantime, please enjoy this recently released photo of Tobias's assistant Billy Ash, released by Billy Ash. It should explain the lustful urges that surround the case, or at least tide us over until lunch.

[I'm not saying long lost brother of Sleve Dohen, I'm just saying long lost brother of Sleve Dohen]
Earlier: Everything About The Seth Tobias Murder Case Is True
Murder Accusation Made in Tobias Estate Case [CNBC]
Longer Clip Of Joe Kernen Getting All Riled Up [MSN Video]