The Sick And Twisted Mind Of Vikram Pandit

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High ranking sources at Citigroup tell belated-birthday boy Charlie Gasparino that CEO Vikram Pandit is in favor of keeping the comically overweight bank large and in charge (the exact phrasing was "Jiminy Glick-esque"). This is crazy and maybe worthy of a siren because no one at Citigroup has ever expressed resistance regarding breaking up the big C. This is completely new and radical. This is such a drastic change in ideology from the last couple of Citigroup CEO's that CNBC insiders say Charlie's been wearing one of those foam neck braces to deal with the ensuing whiplash, though that probably has less to do with shock vis-a-vis Citi and more to do with trying to make a killing at his small claims court appearance later this afternoon, when he'll argue that "that guy came out of nowhere and rear ended me and I'm not leaving without my fucking money."

Citigroup CEO Is Against Breakup: Sources [CNBC]

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You Haven't Seen The Last Of Vikram Pandit

Perhaps, you thought, that the day Vikram Pandit was abruptly and unceremoniously fired from Citigroup was the end. That we'd lost him for good. That he'd retreat to the his Upper West Side manse and spend his days beefing up his Odd Couple memorabilia collection, or work on that novel about a love that dare not speak its name between a bank CEO and the analyst who only acted like she hated him, or build that Zen garden he'd always wanted that the fucks at Citi never let him have. That he was finished with Wall Street. Well fret not. Uncle Vik wouldn't never do that to you.