Art Cock, Sans Smock (Last Night On Fox)

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It’s times like these we really regret not being able to get it together to start TiVo’ing Fox Business. Last night they had on Tim Patch, an Australian artist who uses his penis as a brush, to discuss his craft. There’s no video to be found, which is so typical of the network in that it often chooses not to save segments that could be construed as embarrassing (last week’s interview with an M&M, Tim Sykes’s appearance last night on “Happy Hour”), an obvious blow to posterity. All that remains is this screen shot (click to enlarge) a watchful reader (Stan O’Neal) was good enough to grab and send our way. The best part (and there are many to choose from) is the ticker tape at the bottom. This isn’t just some guy dipping his genitalia in oil and smearing it across a canvas—it’s the BUSINESS of some guy dipping his genitalia in oil and smearing it across a canvas. On that note, Patch (professional handle: “Pricasso”) is a businessman and businessmen can be bought—what I’m getting at is that we’ve commissioned a piece (art lover Ken Griffin agreed to float us the funds). The only question that remains is, who shall the subject be? Carney wants Bill Ackman, while I think a portrait of Meredith Whitney and her WWF husband would just be lovely. Your pick? Really think about it. This is important.

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