Billy Ash's Breakthrough Performance

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The above clip is gay pimp Billy Ash’s deposition for the Seth Tobias murder case, sent to us by gay pimp Billy Ash. There aren’t many new details, but everything feels so much more intense when it’s conveyed through a dramatic reading (the line “If you eat [this Ambien-laced pasta], I’ll call someone and we’ll have kinky sex out by the pool” seems so one-dimensional on the page compared to hearing it come out of the mouth of gay pimp Billy Ash, quivering voice and all), so I think it warrants a look-see. If I can take the time to watch it over and over and over again, you can at least watch it once, and then we can discuss it, like we’re in a book club. A gay, coked-out book club. (Or as Larry Robbins* calls it, “a book club. What?”)
Plus, DealBook is claiming the whole story was “first blown out by The New York Times,” which is so rich. Obviously they’re not going to relinquish the faux credit for blowing the sordid tale of a gay hedge fund manager who may have been killed by his wife because she was crazy and wanted money and was jealous of her husband’s boyfriend named Tiger who danced at local strip club Cupid’s and couldn’t “recall” whether or not they’d had sex, only that the two went to “the tracks together,” but damn if we’re not going to get recognition for finishing the job.
Last thing and then watch—the first time I went through this thing, I couldn’t help but thinking, how did Billy Ash ever have a successful career as a pimp? Call me shallow but how?? I was still asking this question during the second and third viewings but by the fourth, when I actually watched the clip in its entirety, and really let Ash’s award-winning tears (at 4:25) sink in? I was kind of buying it. Not that Filomena killed Tobias because I’m sure we’ll find out at the 11th hour that nuts as she may be, it wasn’t Fil. but someone completely random like, I don’t know, Carney (kidding..., emphasis on the "..."), but that this guy could sell some ass. Let me know if he wins you over, too.
*We went with L-Train for kicks, but we're told by many that he's an all around good guy. Who should we be making fun of in hedgefund land for this sort of thing? Give me some suggestions.

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