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Blame Canada, Canucks Beg: We Have a Tenuous Link to SocGen Scandal? Yes! We Are on the Map. Calgary in the Muthafuckin' Hizzeyheous

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In all of the media coverage of that wily Société Générale employee, Jérôme Kerviel, and those $7 billion that were lost in fraudulent trades, no one has pointed out the biggest villain of them all, which is Canada. Since nobody will stand up and rectify that-- the Times, the Journal, the freaking FT-- Canada will just have to be the one to do it. An impassioned plea from reporter Deborah Yedlin in the Calgary Herald implores readers to understand that there are several connections between the tract of land north of Vermont and the Paris-based bank. These nebulous links place the Big C at the scene of the crime, and so help me god, credit will be given where credit is due. 1. SocGen owns a piece of FirstEnergy Capital Corp., which is located in Canada. 2. SocGen was a member of the banking syndicate that financed the building of the Alliance Pipeline back in the late 90s 3. French. French is spoken in both Canada and France, where SocGen's headquarters are. And who among us can argue with this incontrovertible evidence? Yedlin also reminds the crowd that market manipulator Brian Hunter is from Canada, and he was pulling this kind of shit way back in '06. So it's not even like they're new to the scene. To finish off the stirring address extolling Canada's up-and-coming status on the global financial fraud scene, Yedlin tells Canadians to suit up, put their game face on (I know now hockey metaphors -- take out the false teeth?) and get ready to play an even bigger role in the next shithouse fraud; her oratory may well end up the Canadian equivalent of Henry V's Agincourt speech:

"The next time -- and there will undoubtedly be a next time -- a financial crisis of some sort erupts in a far-flung part of the world, we all might be best advised to leave the smug face in the closet. The global reach of the financial world is alive and well in Calgary."

City On Global Finance Map [Calgary Herald]