Fantastic News

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We just received word that the NYMEX trading floors are now broadcasting Fox Business News. That’s right people—some genius (and we say that completely sincerely, you know how we feel about FBN) over at 1 North End Avenue decided that programming included but not limited to interviews with life-sized M&Ms, drunk driving PSAs by shitfaced club DJs, the business wisdom of sock puppets, Boyz II Men and hos, hos, hos was not only unintentional hilarity but news you can use. Whether that means employees will be executing trades based on the trenchant market insights of a piece of corn syrup-and-dye-coated candy or making more efficient use of their time by jerking off at their desks to Jenna Lee instead of wasting precious moments in the handicapped bathroom is unclear. Doesn’t really matter—the important thing is that the message is being spread. It’s only a matter of time before everyone else follows in suit (hazarding a guess, I would say GS’s prop desk will be next). Which will make the airing of YOUR winning entry in the commercial contest that much more significant. Now, it has the potential to be seen by 8,000 people. Maybe even ten.

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