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Housekeeping: Pimps y Pervs

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I’m not sure when or how we became the mouthpiece of gay pimp Billy Ash but apparently we are and all I’m saying is that we could all do a lot worse. As Mr. Ash’s representative, I’m supposed to tell you that he hosted a Mardis Gras party last night to benefit children with drug and alcohol problems in Seth Tobias’s name (pictures after the jump, as we have sponsors who threatened to pull ads if they saw “one more fat guy in a mask” to pander to). Ash will also be attending a mass service today for his old boss in San Diego, and all are welcome.
In other news, another one of massage enthusiast Jeffrey Epstein’s victims has come forward, seeking $50 million for being forced to touch the billionaire while he touched himself a few years ago in Palm Beach, Florida. In further news we finally scraped together the funds to buy one of those rotating chairs a few of you recommended so highly.
Circling back for a second, I would everyone to know that I am starting to take seriously my side gig as PR rep for a crazy, deli meat-gorging goomba and a gay pimp. First order of business is to try and secure a nomination for Mr. Ash at this event next year:

(For those who can't watch videos, it's the Pimp of the Year Awards show, and I can't think of anyone more deserving of the honor. I've seriously racked my brain on this one.)

Second teen-sex suit seeks $50 million from Jeffrey Epstein [Palm Beach Post]