Skip to main content

Mark Haines Has Been Appearing On-Air Without Underwear For Years, This Is Nothing New

  • Author:
  • Updated:

The Post reported today that in order to compete with the mistresses of Fox Business, CNBC has brought in a new wardrobe stylist to skank things up a bit (previous credits include Backdoor Sluts 7,8 and 9). As the story goes, staid crew necks have been swapped for “form-fitting V-necks” and pants for no pants. While we are all for this new regime, there are a couple things with which we take issue. First, it’s not the Fox anchors that are of the looser persuasion, it’stheirguests. So if CNBC were trying to go tit-for-tat (oh yeah, I went there), it would be unbuttoning John Carney’s top buttons, not Maria Bartiromo’s.
Second, if anyone was watching CNBC today, they would’ve seen that Erin Burnett was dressed in, not a plunging neckline sweater but say it together, a crew-neck, underneath a hideously boxy beige blazer. (Not that I give a baker’s fuck, or that it matters, since I think EB always looks good*, I’m just trying to make a point.) Which actually makes me wonder whether or not CNBC caught wind of the item and was like, "You wanna try and expose us as newly minted tramps? Fuck you, we'll be the exact opposite." And I don't like that at all. Tomorrow, I want to see a shot of Haines's cock ring. The rest of you, I want to see those stripper spangles through white blouses (you, too, Pisani). We can get back to peddling ass, if we try.
V-neck Defense [NYP]
*That was me channeling Don Klarney, tell me what you thought.