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Rethinking What You Wear While Taking Care Of Business

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The above is a clip from Fox Business on which clothing trends don't work at the office. I disagree with all of them.
#1 FBN SAYS: Don't Overaccessorize because too much jewelry can make too much noise and just make you look plain silly. Wrong because: too few investment bankers dress like Mr. T these days. You see it at the hedge funds, because they're a little more, you know, out there, but not enough at the banks. Also, it's nice to announce yourself via jingle jangle instead of the vanilla, "Here I come."
#2 FBN SAYS: Don't Wear Leggings. Don't really say why, just that you should "go old-fashioned with tights or hose." I beg to differ but not for the reason you would think, which is that leggings are stupid, but because, as stated previously, I fully believe the fastest way to get to the top is no pants at all. If it's good enough for Leon Cooperman, it's good enough for you.
#3 FBN SAYS: Be Judicious About Your Shoes "Comfort is key, heels that are too high make you look like a skank blah blah blah." I call bullshit because: Hedge funds (and other financial institutions but for this particular example, HFs) are a dog eat dog world. It is a well known fact that Adam Sender first made a name not by savvy stockpicking, but by wearing KISS boots in the office, and spitting blood. Not only was it kick ass, it also added 13 inches to his height, putting him just under 6 feet.
Earlier: Getting You Promoted, One Pair Of Assless Chaps At A Time (Provided You Work For Larry Robbins)


Bill Ackman Is Saying This Because He Cares: Just Because They Make Pants With 52-Inch Waists Doesn't Mean You Need To Aspire To Wear Them

As has been discussed at length in the past, should hedge fund manager Bill Ackman ever decide to take up a new line of work, he would no doubt have a bright future hosting a guerrilla-style makeover show wherein he and a sidekick drive around in a van looking for people who could benefit from his discerning eye and then ambush them on the street and weigh in on what's wrong with their [choose all that apply: bangs/clothes/arms/ass/life in general].a Although not classically trained, the Pershing Square founder has years of experience, dating all the way back to his days as a Harvard Business School student, when fellow classmates were asked if streetwalker was the look they were going for.