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Credit Suisse Workers Encouraged To Seek Employment Elsewhere

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A bunch of first years in Credit Suisse’s financial sponsors group—who supposedly haven't yet received their bonuses—were told today it’d be in everyone’s best interest if they stopped showing up to the office, circa now. Not technically laid off (that actually would’ve been more humane, cause at least it would mean a few well-deserved weeks of sleeping late and self-pity), the options offered to the Little Dougans were a. Get a job somewhere else b. Work back office for Credit Suisse outside the U.S. Either way, they can kiss their ridiculously short walk to the Shake Shack good bye, unless of course they’re planning on going with option A, and putting resumes in at the new, year-round Shack on the Upper West Side, which is now hiring.

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The House Of Dougan has apparently said Do svidaniya to a handful of comrades.