Fed Chairmen: They're Just Like Us!*

Author:
Updated:
Original:

GaldalFed: Hey, Boss! How's everything? Just reading a Bloomberg article that mentioned both of us, and I thought I would drop you a line.
Maestro69: Sec
GaldalFed: Sure, Sure.
Maestro69: Ok i'm here. What did it say? I myself have refrained from reading the newspapers since back in, oh, 2004.
GaldalFed: You the man. Anywho, it's funny -- a little embarrassing actually—
Maestro69: It wasn't another of these guttersnipes trying to blame me for the contracted period of economic dislocation, was it? Shit, hold on, dropped the phone in the tub.
GaldalFed: Sure, sure.
GaldalFed: No, it wasn't relaly about you you. It was about how I bought a house at the peak of the market. 'Member?
Maestro69: oops.
Maestro69: Not particularly, no.
GaldalFed: Why would you, right? Anygay, it says all this stuff about how the housing recession has 'literally arrived on the doorstep of Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke.'
Maestro69: Sec.
GaldalFed: We can chat later, no biggie.
Maestro69: Please, continue, I just have this speech to give to UBS tonight. Kaching! I'm jostling, of course.
Maestro69: What does this article have to do with me?
GaldalFed: Well, I didn't know if you remembered. But I asked you at the time, 'Hey, Boss, there's this 2,600sf house right in downtown selling for $839k. Sweet deal, but it's a bit of a stretch? Sound familiar?'
Maestro69: I don't recall. What sagely advice did I convey?
GaldalFed: That's the thing, Big Guy. You suggested I get an adjustable rate mortgage that resets after three years.
Maestro69: ROTFLMAO. shit dropped the phoen again.
GaldalFed: k
Maestro69: back.
GaldalFed: hey...anyway, thing is, even though the thing with the ARM seems funny, it just reset and this mortgage is tearing the ass out of me.
Maestro69: What does this have to do with me? I certainly couldn't have foreseen how taking a mortgage at a time when interest rates were at emergency-low levels on a house you couldn't otherwise afford could pose unforeseen difficulties.
GandalFed: C'mon, Alan. Don't go all Robot on me; this is Benny! Not Ted Kennedy. Can't we just talk like humans?
Maestro69: Does not compute.
Maestro69: Kidding. What is it, Benji?
GandalFed: I know you said I can make serious dough on the i-bank circuit when I'm gone, but right now, Boss, I'm in a fix. I could use a little scratch, just for a few months.
Maestro69: Why are you coming to me?
GandalFed: Well, jeez, let's see. First off, you said things were in pretty good shape when I took this gig, and it doesn't really look that way, does it? Plus, because you put me in touch with the Mo Hazard guy on the option ARM, you made this an issue I'm taking home with me, too.
Maestro69: First off, don't ever impugn the integrity of Angelo -- neither he nor I could have ever seen this coming. He is HEARTBROKEN over this.
Maestro69: Second, you little Ivy League puss, if you thing you are going to pin one iota of the blame on me for what is happening, you can kiss the recommendations for the lecture circuit goodbye. Good luck raising the dough at Princeton, Benjy. Why don't you go cry to your thesis advisor like you always do. Big Al has money to make.
Maestro69 has signed off.
GandalFed: Are you blocking me again?
Maestro69 is not online.
Bernanke's Own Home on Capitol Hill Shows Housing Boom and Bust [Bloomberg]
*Like I'm a homeowner.

Related