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It Gets Worse

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Like we said yesterday, the most depressing thing about the revelation that Steamroller Spitzer spent 800 million dollars on whores over the last number of years is what’s it’s done to Jim Cramer. Appearing on the Today Show yesterday, guy was on the verge of tears the whole time and genuinely sounded like his heart had been smashed to into 4,300 tiny little pieces. Whole thing was very difficult to watch—we actually felt his pain. And, damn you Eliot Spitzer, when you start humanizing Jim Cramer, you have ruined standards for all of us. There is nowhere left to go. We didn’t think it could get any worse. We were wrong. Check out this picture, posted by a Gawker commenter. It’s Cramer and it’s Spitzer and it’s some guy nobody’s heard of (Client 8?), probably when they first met at Harvard Law. Set aside for a moment the question of why three guys are in a Cambridge, MA photo booth together and just look at how happy they are! Cramer still has hair, Spitzer hasn't yet discovered hookers, well, not expensive ones anyhow, and guy nobody’s heard of has funky glasses, and is still anonymous enough not to be associated with either of them. I bet, even as I type these very words, funky glasses is tossing those funky glasses in a dumpster in the alley behind his house, and donning a fake moustache. And shouting, "You go to hell, Eliot Spitzer. You go to hell and die!”