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Leave No Stone Unturned, No Bear Stearns Employee's Mouth Untested

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Page Six “just asks” today:

Which former stockbroker who was known for good looks and charm has let himself get fat and worse? A recent male date complained that the former hunk was also suffering from halitosis.

Normally we wouldn’t bother ourselves with the arduous task of trying to guess which good looking-become-fat financier among the millions of good looking-become-fat financiers they’re talking about, as the field is larger than the subject in question’s recently acquired T&A and, really, who gives a rat’s ass, but add oral malodor to the mix and you can color us intrigued. Curious. Desperate to know, ‘cept we don’t, which is where you people come in. We could be convinced that Larry Kudlow's exhalations cause people to fan out but the other descriptions don't fit. Our only plausible guesses are former girls about town Peter Bacanovic (Martha Stewart’s stockbroker and fellow defendant) and his assistant, Douglas Faneuil—dated photographs show both were, at least at one time, conventionallyattractive. They’re also both unemployed and on most nights, probably can’t come up with too many reasons to *not* eat that fifth profiterole without brushing afterwards. Anyway, get on it.
Just Asking [New York Post]
Halimeter [Wikipedia]


Former Bears Stearns Employee Victim Of Harassment By Pizza

If you were going to try and extort money Bear Stears alum, how would you do it? Would you call him at his new job and talk trash about his wife? Would you call his house and tell his wife he was running around on her with another woman? Would you call his mother-in-law in New Jersey and breathe heavily into the phone? Or would you bring out the big guns and start sending pizzas, sometimes 20 at a time, to his home in New Canaan, as a sign you really meant business? Donato Anthony Minicozzi chose all of the above.