Movie Night!

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This is the one we’ve been waiting for, people: on Monday, March 31, CNBC will air For The Love of Money: The Death of Seth Tobias, a one-hour documentary that will tell the “real” story of the Circle T founder’s death by drowning, with the added value of grainy reenactments, dramatic b-roll, voiceovers and talking heads. I’m so excited I don’t even care that the premise, “How far will people go for the love of money?” is way off base. (For the record, let's get one thing straight: murder or accidental drowning, ST's downfall had nothing to do with a love of money. CNBC should man up and give the show it's proper name: "For the Love of Cock and Coke." Help me out on this one, Charlie.)
From the preview, which we’ve watched many, many times this morning, here’s what we can expect: an absolutely WASTED Mark Haines offering his 2-cents on the guy, the widow’s 991 call, and shots of the pool where Tobias went down for the dirt nap (it’s not at all as I pictured it all those times I closed my eyes and reflected on that fateful night). From our wildest fantasies, here’s what we’re hoping for: footage of Andrew Ross Sorkin interviewing the management at Cupid’s, the gay club where Tobias’s stripper-boyfriend Tiger worked; a clip of Tiger dancing in a thong (plus the logical extensions: clip of Billy Ash dancing in a thong, clip of Seth Tobias dancing in a thong, clip of Mark Haines dancing in a thong); the recipe for the Ambien-laced pasta alla vodka Filomena Tobias supposedly used to drug her husband; and face time with personal assistant Billy Ash, AKA Mr. Madam the Ft. Lauderdale-based gay pimp (insofar that he is both gay and a pimp) who claims Tobias had a drug and alcohol addiction, and was murdered by his wife. Billy Ash. So. Much. Billy. Ash.
(As an aside: I don't want to sound snarky about the tragic death of a hedge fund manager (although we could stand to lose a few more -- market pruning and all), but the notion of CNBC trying to muster up the gravitas to do this story justice is a rich comic vein. Like the Mouseketeers performing I, Claudius. Anyway, can't wait for Monday.)
Seth Tobias Preview [CNBC]
CNBC Presents "For the Love of Money: The Death of Seth Tobias" [CNBC]