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No Amount Of Atoning Can Make Up For This Sin, Eliot Spitzer

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Yes, the revelation that Eliot Spitzer spent 800 million dollars on whores over the past six years seems to imply that he was a bad governor and a worse husband. But up until now, we hadn’t actually felt the pain his actions inflicted, so to say we were personally upset with him or really cared whether or not he was forced to resign/got sent to jail/had divorced papers served to his sorry, cheating ass would’ve been completely disingenuous. Up until now. Appearing on the Today Show this morning was a visibly saddened, on the verge of tears Jim Cramer. He comes off as honestly distraught, and in desperate need of a hug. It’s almost too painful to watch, because that’s not the Jim Cramer want to see—we want our Jim Cramer sweating and screaming and diving off a chair into a pile of money on the floor of the MM set. Who knows if we’ll ever get that Jim Cramer back. And for that we say, you go to hell Eliot Spitzer. You go to hell and die!