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Setting The Record Straight On JPMorgan

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Those of you seeking solace in the news that Jamie Dimon had to forgo his alleged Easter Sunday ritual of egg-dying and chocolate noshing are SOL: though the JPMorgan CEO played a rather convincing martyr when he told a fellow diner at San Pietro that he would be “working” over the holiday, there were two Jews he wasn’t able to fool. Jesus and myself. Jamie Dimon is Greek Orthodox. So while it might’ve seemed like a huge sacrifice to the untrained eye that the new of king Wall Street had to miss the big day in order to renegotiate the Bear deal and oversee the carpets being ripped up from Jimmy Cayne’s office, it wasn’t, ‘cause his Easter’s not ‘til April 27th. If he happens to be in the office on that day, which he probably will be, since it'll take months to write all those pink slips, then he'll get our sympathy. But not 'til then.
Sightings [Page Six]