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That JP Morgan Analyst Who Maybe Gave You A Ride Home Last Night

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"The funny part is, getting a position as an analyst at JP Morgan was far easier than becoming a hack," a JP Morgan analyst tells Time Out New York this week. It's their "secret lives" issue, detailing the various double lives of New Yorkers. There's the happily married guy who loves the happy-ending, the lawyer chick who is a go-go dancer and, of course, the banker with a secret life.
The JP Morgan analyst explains how he left Yale for a life in the city but landed two jobs at once: driving a cab and working at JP Morgan. He describes his JP Morgan position as a "no show job," which will break the hearts of lots of overworked analysts. Ordinarily, we'd ask you to guess who the banker was. But we like this guy. So instead we're asking the opposite: everyone keep this totally secret.
But remember that the analyst with the dark rings under his eyes might not be tired from spending all night working on the pitch book. He might just be the under-cover cabbie.
I am a... cabbie / JPMorgan analyst [Time Out]