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Up in Smoke: How That Big Scungili Head Cayne Wrecked Bear

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In chronicling the near-collapse of a 85 year-old firm, a sober voice is required to distill the hubris, folly, carnage and ultimate tragedy found within. That voice belongs to Charlie Gasparino. The Post reports that the CNBC on-air reporter will receive a $400,000 advance from HarperCollins to write the definitive guide to the fall of Bear Stearns. Early drafts are said to have stoked some angst among editors because Gasparino peppers his prose with exclamations such as the following excerpt: “For some, the most apparent sign of Cayne's disregard for the mounting difficulties at Bear came in August 2007, when he left a conference call early to play golf. Mamaluke!”
Nonetheless, rumors are already swirling that the account is destined to become a classic and notch for Italian-American pride. Sources tell DealBreaker Gasparino is so confident about the book’s success that he’s already pricing contractors to redecorate his Rego Park palace with Formica countertops and “more marble columns.” Proposed titles include: I Hear Tings, Jimmy, The Fuckin’ Beating That Bear Stearns Took, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss... I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss, and When Mooks Fail. An audio book will be released as well. We've obtained a rough cut of the first few chapters, after the jump.

$400G For A Book On Bear's Fall [NYP]