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"You won't find an uncircumcised putz in that lineup, Alexis."

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In the clip above, Fox Business Contributor Father Morris and FBN anchor Alexis Glick shoot the shit about the Vatican's seven new mortal sins, “some of which relate to business.” Obviously “accumulating excessive wealth” (and the many CEOs who’ve recently done so) was going to be the hot topic but we were extremely disappointed that SpitzorSwallows didn’t at least get some air time. You’d think the Father would’ve wanted to bring the sinner du jour up if only to make the Church look good (note the distinction, people, between non-sins committed by Catholics (touching small boys) and sin-sins committed by Jews (fucking of-age hookers)). And it’s not like FBN, whose main goal in life is to find the business angle in Penthouse spreads, would have a problem going there. We’re going to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and assume that off-camera, a lively discussion took place vis-à-vis which offenses Big E could get nailed on. At the very least: violation of fundamental rights of human nature; morally debatable human experiments; and my personal favorite, environmental pollution (assuming the “not safe” activity was no condom, he spread that demon seed).


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