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Bear Stearns Employees To Learn If They’re Fired or Fired Soon

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Jamie Dimon: Hey Hugh. So I’ve got all these Bear employees to layoff but I can’t decide when to do it. You had the bright idea to can all the disabled ones so, I thought, maybe you could come up with something?
Hugh J. Sole: Well, obviously you don't want them to get an answer right away.
Jamie Dimon: I don’t?
Hugh J. Sole: No, you don’t know. You want to make it long enough that you've got them sweating, but not so long that they just assum they're done for and go and get other spots, which equals no fun for you. So…how about you do it on tax day? Insult to injury and all that? Plus, thing about this being a government bailout and everything? I mean, the joke plays on so many levels.
Jamie Dimon: That’s good, Hugh. Really good.
Hugh J. Sole: Thanks. Oh wait. Wait. TIME OUT. I just thought of something hilarious. The following week is Administrative Assistant’s day. So what you do is, you do it in two rounds. You fire all the front office guys April 15, and then you do the back office guys the week after, on their own national holiday.
Jamie Dimon: You are a genius, Hugh.
Hugh J. Sole: I know. I even scared myself a little on that last one.

Bear Stearns Employees to Learn Job Status Soon