Skip to main content

Electric Press

Jeff Immelt: Is anyone from the damn public relations office back yet?
Vice President: The new girl, Tina.
JI: Wait, the hot little number who's schtoinking that editor at that financial paper?
VP: The Wall Street Journal?
JI: Right. The Streetwise Journal.
VP: The Wall Street Journal.
JI: Get her sweet buns in here. Now. Oh, and I'd like my eggs poached this morning.
VP: Right.

Tina: You asked for me Mr. Immelt?
JI: Right. So, while your entire fucking office was on vacation, we managed to divert this public stuff about Jack shooting me with our "cheaper energy" gambit. But I want some more action. I want newspapers bleeding ink about the Immer. Got it? I mean bleeding. And I want big papers. I want the Wall Streetwise Journal writing about GE. Writing about GE and how the Immer is steering it through the rough spots. This CNBC thing is killing us. Oh, speaking of, what's the story with the hit man and the CNBC people?
VP: The lawyers are balking at the idea, they say...
JI: You tell those spineless toads we'll do it ourselves. Christ, you fire the entire legal department and nothing changes. So, Betsy-
Tina: It's "Tina."
JI: ...right. You're getting the business from this editor at the W-S-Jay? He has his people write what you tell him across the pillow, am I right? Huh?
Tina: Excuse me?
JI: Look, the Immer needs some good press, know what I mean? You could help the Immer. And the Immer... could help... you. GE is a great place for bright minds. A wonderful place to... blossom. To grow.
Tina: I don't know how favorable an article anyone really wants to write about GE right now and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with where this conversation is-
JI: ...but there's also the accounting group in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, for people who are more independent. More... self-directed. Who don't need... the team.
Tina: Uh...
JI: You are a smart girl, Tina. I knew you'd see it my way.

GE's Immelt Defends Business Model, But Says 'Tough Criticism' Deserved
[Wall Streetwise Journal]



New CEO of GE Thinks GE Is A Real POS

Looking at it now, John Flannery can't believe he even took this terrible gig.

Nelson Peltz Is Giving GE A Real Case Of The Mondays

Jeff Immelt's getting a little Peltz-ing to start the week.

By WRI Staff [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Jeff Immelt Can’t Bear To Watch What’s Gonna Happen To His Beloved G.E.

Even if he can’t be Uber CEO, he doesn’t have to be G.E.’s chairman for one minute longer.


CEO Tells Bernie Sanders To STFU About GE

Jeff Immelt came to build ovens and kick ass... and he's already built enough ovens