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In Addition, They All Admitted To Being Slags. Spiteful, Spiteful Slags. Oddly, In Spite Of Their Bitterness, Several Of Them Also Remarked On What A Good Looking, Smart, Funny, Charismatic Guy Epstein Is, But He Tends To Have That Effect On Women

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If you’re like us, you spent last weekend (and the yeast-less days following) being plagued by the fear that, for various reasons, Jeff Epstein hadn’t been invited into anyone’s home for Passover. Blissfully, that concern was put to rest today. The Post reports that the massage enthusiast has been in Israel since Saturday to celebrate the holiday. (It is unclear how extensively traditional the Seders he attended were, though all accounts note several rousing, no holds barred games of find the afikomen in my pants with the harem of Bat Mitzvah-aged women he had in tow). Epstein is apparently also “meeting with Israeli scientists about medical research he's funding and taking a tour of military bases with [Friends of Israel chairman] Benny Shabtai." RE paying men, women and children to stand around awkwardly on several occasions while he jerked off into a towel, Epstein’s representative would like every to note that “the alleged victims have all acknowledged they lied about their age." They all said they were they were 30, and they looked 35. Epstein would’ve called bull shit, but he respects the ladies.
Just Visiting [Page Six]


Severance Watch '12: UBS

Some details on the packages offered to those fired post-Hurricane.

SEC Staffers Have Made Remarkable Progress Re: Learning What Constitutes Appropriate Use Of A Work Computer

If you had asked us two years or two months or two days ago if we thought that there would be a time in the near future when Securities and Exchange employees would not be getting reprimanded for watching porn on their work-issued computers, we would have said absolutely not. No judgment, but in our professional opinion, people do not go from, among other things: * Receiving "over 16,000 access denials for Internet websites classified by the Commission's Internet filter as either "Sex" or "Pornography" in a one-month period" * Accessing "Internet pornography and downloading pornographic images to his SEC computer during work hours so frequently that, on some days, he spent eight hours accessing Internet pornography...downloading so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office." *,,, and living a porn-free existence at l'office. Did we think they'd take baby steps toward that goal sure? But when you've tried to log on to your websites of choice, on average, 533 times a day, assuming weekends were worked, baby steps means getting yourself to a place where you can do a solid two hours of work each week without hitting up So you can imagine (and probably share in) our surprise to hear that, according to a probe by Interim Inspector General Jon Rymer re: "misuses of government resources," the worst offenses one office was charged with claiming they needed iPads to do their jobs when really they just wanted to watch movies on them at home and going to hacker conferences without encrypting the data on their computers. Granted, it doesn't look so great that the group that was running around with computers that didn't even have anti-virus programs on their computers was the one that "is responsible for ensuring exchanges are following a series of voluntary guidelines...concerning computer audits, security, and capacity" but still, no ladyboyjuice while on the job-- that's huge. In a 43-page investigative report that probed the misuse of government resources, SEC Interim Inspector General Jon Rymer discovered that an office within the SEC's Trading and Markets division spent over $1 million on unnecessary technology. The report also found that the staffers failed to protect their computers and devices from hackers, even as they were urging exchanges and clearing agencies to do just that. Although no breaches occurred, the staffers left sensitive stock exchange data exposed to potential cyber attacks because they failed to encrypt the devices or even install basic virus protection programs...On Friday Reuters reviewed a copy of the full report, which details an even broader array of problems, from misleading the SEC about the office's need to buy Apple Inc products, to cases in which staffers took iPads and laptops home and used them primarily for pursuits such as personal banking, surfing the Web and downloading music and movies. The report says the staff may have brought the unprotected laptops to a Black Hat convention where hacking experts discuss the latest trends. They also used them to tap into public wireless networks and brought the devices along with them during exchange inspections...The report also found that some people who worked in the office had little or no experience with exchange technical matters. SEC staffers used govn't computers for personal use - report [Reuters] Earlier: SEC Supervisor Surfed Tranny Porn To Cope With Stress Of The Job; SEC Official Who Surfed Tranny Porn To Deal With Stress Of The Job– Not Alone!;