More Sachiness


You want something done Sachy, you have to do it yourself. Turns out yesterday’s sitch at AQR, wherein the firm shuttered its Global Relative Value fund, a 401 (k) created specifically for GS, was Goldman’s fault, excuse me, shrewd doing. Apparently the product lost 21 percent of its value this year, down $28 million from $36, making it wildly inappropriate for the Masters’ retirement accounts. Enter, Goldman’s pulling the plug. Not really that surprising to those of us who helped coin the term Sachy. Moving forward, proceed on the following assumption and you are unlikely to go wrong: If it was savvy, Goldman was behind it. In fact, if you’d like a little insight as to how their sausage gets made, team building weekly seminars are currently being held on Tuesday nights, when everyone else is at lacrosse practice. Topic, always: “Institutionalized Destruction Or: How To Think About Which Inferior Antibody We Should Kill Next.” Notes from last week include the following points: “Bear, that was fun, but easy. We’ve got to start going after more worthy adversaries.”
Earlier: AQR’s Global Relative Value Fund To Call It A Day
Goldman pulls plug on an AQR account [Fortune]


Cliff Asness Wants To Be Thanked For Paying Taxes, Is Pissed Cash For Clunkers Didn't Involve Killing Nazis

Something you may or may not know about Cliff Asness is that by day, he is a hedge fund manager but by night he is the second coming of his hero, Captain America. Like the Captain, the AQR founder believes his duty is to defend America, only instead of fighting Axis Powers, Asness's enemies are liberal Commie Socialists hell-bent on destroying this country. Because his shield has been in the shop for repairs for the past couple years, Cliff has been forced to use other weapons to pummel his foes, namely writing amazingly witty1 emails to his friends and colleagues about how much Obama et al suck. Most recently, Captain Asness circulated "Some Useful Definitions to Understand Our Modern Progressive World," a little glossary of unalphabetized terms he put together sure to cut his adversaries deeply. (The Captain also helpfully pointed out in a footnote that many of the definitions were "written sarcastically as a faux left-winger, [while] some [are] just conservative/libertarian interpretations of what the left really means," in case that was lost on his audience.) They include: - The 1% Definition: Those who pay more than 1/3 the total federal income tax and are never thanked for it. More generally, they are responsible for all evil in the world today (unless they work in Hollywood or hitech in which case they are “honorary 99%-ers” regardless of income, tax rate, and lifestyle). - Cash for Clunkers Definition: What we came up to replace World War II as stimulus. Many perfectly good cars destroyed, no Nazis defeated. - Rights Definition: A more extreme form of “entitlement” defined above. Note that modern usage throws out the long tradition of natural rights only of a negative nature, that is, the right not to have something done to you, for rights of a positive nature, that is, the right to certain goods and services, like health care, Apple products, and soy milk. Since, no matter how important these items are, these modern positive rights must still be produced and taken from others, essentially the word “rights” now often stands for a system of slavery and theft.2 Some Useful Definitions [PDF] 1Definition: ... 2The fuck?

Hedge Fund Manager Cliff Asness Thinks Global Warming Much Ado About Nothing

Keeping his limited edition Captain America dolls in the original packaging? Big deal. Global warming? NBD.