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Next Best Thing To A Free Sandwich: A Bunch of Hedge Fund Guys Get Fired

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Here’s a lil’ pick me up for all you bankers thinking you’re the only ones taking it up the tailpipe-- JWM Partners, the fund started by John Meriwether after things started to go downhill at LTCM, which recently lost 24 percent in its $1 billion fixed-income hedge fund this year through March 14, just laid off ten employees and two partners have “quit.” DealBreaker has obtained a portion of the heartfelt note Meriwether sent to the unlucky staffers, which you’ll find after the jump.

In closing, while endings are always sweet sorrow, and at the risk of sounding like I'm pumping myself up when you are down, I just want to say-- isn't it remarkable how much we've matured as stewards of investor capital? Why, the last time we said goodbye (talkin’ LTCM 'Chernobyl' Capital here – LOL*), our spontaneous combustion nearly crippled the global financial system. This time, our meltdown, and the reduction in employee headcount, is about as significant as some hobo soiling himself -- not pleasant, but it happens all the time. And on the even brighter side, our risk-management policies implemented since the nuclear winter of our discontent appear to have been kinda successful. In closing, fear not, we'll (I'll) be back: I plan to grow the hair out, cultivate a Rollie Fingers' stache, and change my name to Don Periweather. I figure we can raise at least as much as that hack Cody Willard. Maybe we can even get a TV gig.'

Job Cuts At Meriwether Hedge Fund
[Times Online]
* Like Reader's Digest says, 'Laughter is the best medicine.’ ;)