Working late and feeling suicidal? Let a bathrobe-clad Tim Sykes, and threat of TimTV, help you finish the job.
(Or, on the brighter side, help you realize that you could've turned out a number of ways and this wasn't one of them.)
Remember Tim Sykes? In 2006 he was featured in Trader Monthly's 30 Under 30 list for turning his "Bar Mitzvah gifts totaling $12,415 into a pre-tax sum of just under $2 million" (and was subsequently uninvited to the magazine's party for "not behaving like a responsible member of the financial community"), starred in the first season of Wall Street Warriors, almost died in a fire he claimed was started by Dealbreaker readers, and accused the Securities and Exchange Commission of being "rapists." Anyway, he's still alive and is currently soliciting women to help him teach people things about stocks, or something. Timothy Sykes, millionaire trader and investment teacher, has created a beauty pageant, Miss Penny Stock, to “inspire students” (or perhaps an excuse to peruse attractive women). “It’s going to be a classy competition,” Sykes insists. “It’s not going to be some ditzy girl who wants to get by on her looks, it’s going to be a girl who wants to learn stocks.” At the casting event, beauties will model “bikini and cocktail” (presumably dresses, not drinks) and be asked questions like, “Do you know about stocks?” He says more than 100 women have already applied. “She’ll be a pretty face to show what I can do with my teaching,” he continued. “I want to teach everybody, so why not models?” [NYP]
Whether that relationship entails Sykes becoming Burress's financial advisor or Burress attending Tim Sykes University is unclear.