In the clip above, Martin Kihn discusses how checking your Blackberry while your boss is talking to you, not making eye contact and leaving hostile notes on the break room fridge threatening to cut the next guy who “fucks with my hummus” will help you get ahead at work. These are a few of the steps in Kihn’s “ten step program for becoming an asshole.” Cavuto seems skeptical, as if he were thinking, “What can this milquetoast drink of water teach me about being an asshole? Ten steps. How about one step as I walk my boot up your ass?” But he's deferential, in a more subtle asshole-y way. He also claims he won’t be testing the program out on Rupert, ‘cause what if it backfired and he was stripped of the one thing that matters most to him—being a smarmy jerk on TV whilst “CAVUTO” flashes behind his head? But we still need someone to assess its efficacy in real time. Where can one find a group of willing participants with time on their hands to assist in a survey? I’m just getting word from BigSouvlaki4U69 (9:57:01 AM): “Bear Stearns.” We'll let you know how that goes.