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Bear Stearns Post-Mortem Condensed: The Fizzle List

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Obviously the story everyone is talking about today is Kate Kelly's report, The Fall of Bear Stearns. As the first of three parts, its clear that the Wall Street Journal is aiming at writing the defining post-mortem report on the collapsed Wall Street legend. It's a great story, well-written that repeats some of the essential things that bear repeating--card playing, pot smoking, hedges funds collapsing--and it's even illustrated with helpful cartoons.
But let's face it: this thing is really long. If you haven't read it already, you're probably too busy to get through the whole thing. What's worse, there are two more installments coming. You'll never catch up! Think about how embarrassing this will be at the bar after work or over cocktails in Water Mill.
Don't worry, DealBreaker is here for you. Throughout the week, we'll be cutting the story down into small digestible bits. First up, the would-be cash injections that failed!

Kelly describes six efforts to raise billions of dollars that "fizzled as either Bear Stearns or suitors turned skittish."
Here's the Fizzle List. Click the image for a version you can print and save for handy reference.