Columbia Student’s Spring Break Momentarily Disrupted By Jimmy Cayne’s Carelessness

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Columbia Spectator Editor: How are we going to top the Timesstory about the UPENN kids who lost the jobs Bear promised they could have before, you know.
Columbia Spectator Staff Writer: Hmm…I mean, there’ve got to be some Columbia kids in the same situation, no? I could interview a bunch of them?
CS E: It's poss…tell me more.
CS SW: Well my roommate’s friend had his offer from Bear taken back and now he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to afford to live in Murray Hill this summer…there’s a chance his parents might pay his rent, but there’s also a chance they might make him move home, which I think is sort of crazy, and would make for a good story, no?
CS E: Well, it’s worse than the Penn girl who’ll merely have to be subsidized by mom and dad for a spell, that’s for sure, but we can do better.
CS SW: Yeah.
CS E: There’s go to be more pain. More heartbreak. Ya dig?
CS SW: Yeah.
CS E: We need to give voice to those who cannot speak.
CS SW: I know. But I've got nothing.
CS E: Same…damn, this is harder than I thought it'd be.
CS SW: You’re telling me.
[They stare at each other in silence for 5 minutes]
CS E: Oh, oh wait, here it is, here comes the money shot—I just got an email about a girl who got the bad news about Bear WHILE ON SPRING BREAK. And get this—she didn’t line up another job at a hedge fund for almost a month after that.
CS SW: God, that is perfect.
CS E: More where that came from, coming at ya. Some chick from the class of ’10—are you sitting down? Are you ready for this? Do you have a paper bag to blow into, because you’re going to need oxygen in a second—got her Bear internship taken away.
CS SW: NO.
CS E: YES.
CS SW: Then what happened?
CS E: She got one with JPMorgan.
CS SW: Christ, that was touch and go for a while.
CS E: I know.
CS SW: You see? This is why they pay you the big bucks.
Bear Stearns Crash Leaves Students in Employment Crunch [Columbia Spectator]

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