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News You Can Use: Air Closer To Waste Receptacle On Train Smells Worse Than Farther Away

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That's the insider tip from Bloomberg today, which is ramping up its scat coverage by the minute (I'm guessing they polled their readers and found that fecal matter is all the rage on Wall Street. Tomorrow's story: How Does CNBC's Charlie Gasparino Stay Regular? Hint: Metamucil omelettes). Very important investigative journalism has revealed that a man or woman's commute will be less pleasant in a seat bathroom-adjacent than in one less proximate to the commode. And here's the craziest part--this matter of smells doesn't just affect commuters going in and out of New Jersey but those living or working in the more prestigious zip codes located on the North side of the Long Island Sound.
"You never want to sit anywhere near the bathroom, which has constant odor issues," said Andrew DeVries of Stamford, Connecticut, an analyst with CreditSights in New York and Nobel Prize hopeful. Apparently new cars being rolled out late next year will sport lavatories with waste storage tanks located farther from passengers. Until then let's all do our part to make the commute a little fresher, by making a stop at Steve Cohen's house before boarding the train.
Traders Get Better Whiff Riding 5:09 to Greenwich [Bloomberg]