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Our Self-Respect: Priceless (Unless You've Got A 5-Spot, In Which Case, SOLD)

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I know everyone still working at Bear Stearns is super busy these days but see if you can find a few free minutes tomorrow or Wednesday to pop on down to the cafeteria. Seriously, I realize that business is through the roof right now, what with all the bond trading you're doing and your hedge funds making more money that you know what to do with, and you probably barely even have time to stop for lunch let alone shop but really, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS. Also, dead serious about the cash only-- Bear's got enough problems holding too much bad debt already.

I know some of you may be asking yourselves, "Why in the name of Jimmy Cayne's dealer would I want to give this dump a dime," which is entirely fair, given recent events. But as an objective voice of reason, let us just say that while you may be feeling upset or hurt or angry toward BSC right this second, you know that you're going to look back on this in a few years and laugh and maybe even think, "You know, I kind of miss that place." And how sad will it be if you don't have a commemorative teddy bear or duffel bag or umbrella with which to wax nostalgic?