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Spinning Out Of Control Because The Guy Next To You Won't Pipe Down-- A-Okay?

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And now an update on the greatest story ever told. Does everyone remember the spinning class brouhaha that took place last August at an Equinox gym on the Upper East Side? The answer should be a resounding "hell fuck yeah," but for those of you who (shamefully) need a refresher, the deal is this: hedge fund manager Stuart Sugarman got himself thrown against a wall by fellow rider and Maxim Investments Group broker Christopher Carter, who'd taken issue with the fact that Sugarman was pumping himself up by "loudly" grunting, commenting, "Great song!" and yelling, "You go, girl," throughout class. Carter apparently first asked Sugarman to "quiet down," then told him to "shut the fuck up," then threatened "If you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to get off my bike," and finally, after being told by Sugarman to "stop being a baby," made good on the promise and took it one step further, dismounting and throwing Sugar and his Schwinn against the wall, leaving a hole in the sheetrock. Sugarman alleges that as a result, he suffered a concussion and a herniated disc, not to mention a sustained fear of group exercise.
Now the wild rumpus has made it to a courtroom, where your tax dollars are deciding whether or not it's a crime to assault people who audibly work out. The prosecutor, Brigid Harrington, while conceding that Sugarman was being annoying as fuck, obviously says yes. Defense attorney Michael Farkas, charges that Sugarman's "bellicose attitude caused the trouble," and that the battering was warranted. We'll keep you posted.
NYC broker on trial for spin class fracas [UPI]