Theory: This Was Actually Intended Soley For Jimmy Cayne But They Had To Send It To Everyone So As Not To Embarass Him

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The (very) internal Bear memo we just received is from December and yet, we feel the message bears repeating (at regular intervals, which perhaps is the case for the original recipients, who need to be reminded about this stuff). For the employees who've seen this before--whether you're unsure about plans for the future or are getting ready to head over to JPMorgan--please note that the guidelines found within should probably be heeded even after you leave BSC. For Jamie Dimon-- who clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into-- it's not too late! You can still back out of this thing. Or, at the very least, start making some calls to ensure that the Bear employees you've fired your own to make room for are housed in a quarantined area...like Citigroup.

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