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And Yet, This Is Still Preferable To Ace Greenberg Giving Us Intimate Details About Barbara Walters

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Yet again, Warren Buffett has gone the fuck out of his way to awkwardly marry aberrant sex fetish with folksy business wisdom. In response to a question about what makes people want to sell their companies to him, Buffet said:

You can sell it to Berkshire, and we'll put it in the Metropolitan Museum; it'll have a wing all by itself; it'll be there forever. Or you can sell it to some porn shop operator, and he'll take the painting and he'll make the boobs a little bigger and he'll stick it up in the window, and some other guy will come along in a raincoat, and he'll buy it.

Listen, we're all for a. fucking and b. analogies but time and time again Buffett bends over backwards to just get the sex reference in without even really illuminating the actual point and the best part is he doesn't give a rat's ass. He might as well have answered, "You know, it would be like putting a huge pair of cans on a mouse in a lab. Sure, they're fun to play with but at the end of the day, you're still fucking a rodent." But since he's old, set in his ways, and not going to change any time soon, let's place bets on when WB will drop the pretense and just start showing up to interviews with Becky Quick (but thinking about Liz Claman) in a bathrobe, answering questions with only one hand showing. We're going to go with soon.
Related: Barbara Walters Does Not Want To Talk About The Sex She Had With Alan Greenspan, Ace Greenberg 40 Years Ago
Warren Buffett Says Sell to Me, Not `Porn Shop,' as Growth Dips [Bloomberg]


Former Berkshire Hathaway Executive Has Only The Nicest Things To Say About Warren Buffett

On March 30, 2011, Warren Buffett penned an open letter expressing support for his former lieutenant, David Sokol, whose trading activities had been called into question. "Neither Dave nor I feel his Lubrizol purchases were in any way unlawful," Buffett wrote. Then, a month later, he told shareholders and reporters gathered at the BKR annual meeting in Omaha that, actually, Sokol was a degenerate bum; a piece of garbage that needed to be taken out, lest it stink up the place. (Actual words: "inexcusable," "inexplicable," in violation of "the company's insider-trading rules and code of ethics." Buffett added that Berkshire "had turned over some very damning evidence" re: Sokol to the Securities and Exchange Commission, to boot.) Though Sokol did not publicly respond to the comments at the time, they presumably stung quite a bit, since having your unassailable ex-boss basically call you a lowlife does not do wonders for the reputation. Now, a year later, after being informed that the SEC would not be taking action against him, is he in a Zen place about life in general and Buffett's words specifically? Are the two men cool? Could Sokol see them being friends again one day? At the very least, is he ready to laugh about them? Yes, yes he is.