Bear Stearns Rips Off Another Customer


But this time it's serious. 'Member those sweet limited edition BSC playing cards we told you about the other day? Commemorating Ace Greenberg's March 8, 1999 50th anniversary with the firm? Bearing his face and money shot of the trademark bowtie? Ringing any bells? Anyway, it was the absolute best piece of Bear memorabilia on the auction block, second only to the wiccan CEO's Little Book Of Magic. Which is why some twerp (who outbid us) put up $61 in exchange for the deck. Now, however, said twerp informs us that the seller "is MIA, and hence we can't complete the deal. He/she was also selling a Bear Stearns football, which we also bid on and won. Needless to say we are more than mildly annoyed at not having our hands on these."
Earlier: Highest Bidder Will Also Receive 2 20-Minute Magic Lessons, On The House

You might be asking yourselves, Why are there full episodes of a seminal television show at the end of each post? Well, last night I was agonizing about the market being down three percent and how suicidal our readers must be feeling and thought, what can I do to cheer them up? Herewith, please enjoy these entire episodes of Alf, on me.


Hedge Fund Manager Who Ripped Off Bear Stearns May Do 200 Years

Let this be a lesson to anyone hoping to avoid a couple centuries in prison-- nobody fucks with Jimmy Cayne's roach clip and gets away with it!