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Bonus Watch '08: Citi

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Citi first-years got numbers this morning and they're "so bad" that everyone's been granted a ten minute nap under their desk plus five minutes of alone time in the "jerk off and cry" room. 1st tier got 65, 2nd got 53, 3rd got 25. Our tipster was unsure about the remaing two levels though we've got our guesses. Fourth tier's prize is one of those gigantic coupon books. Fifth tier's prize is you'refired.

You might be asking yourselves, Why are there full episodes of a seminal television show at the end of each post? Well, last night I was agonizing about how suicidal our readers must be over the market being down three percent and bonuses being an 1/8th of what they were last year and thought, what can I do to cheer them up? Herewith, please enjoy these entire episodes of Alf, on me.


Bonus Watch '15: Citi CEOs

The board has decided Corbat did a 10 percent shittier job last year than in 2013.