Corporate America has been perfecting ways of talking around awkward things like mass firings and layoffs. But it can't lay a glove on Wall Street, where double-speak is not just a way of life, it's an earnings strategy.
Take Goldman Sachs, Wall Street's gold standard investment bank. Despite beating its peers in performance, profits are down at Goldman and layoffs are underway. Many of those who lose their jobs will be junior bankers, called analysts, who typically serve a two year term before going on to business school or moving on to other jobs.
Goldman is letting many of its first year analysts go but they aren't describing this as getting fired. So first year analysts who are being fired after just one year are told that the have been placed into the "accelerated one-year analyst program," according to people familiar with the matter. It's like skipping a grade! Well, except that you get expelled from school after you get accelerated!
Goldman Sachs could not immediately comment on this story. But we'll update you if they do!